a real post/crossposted from diary

i dont have a lot of time, so it will be short. the lovely Blue Bella demands my attention so I will throw a little entry in ;)

my life is still a work/rest spin cycle, as Im still tired and even had a bit of a meltdown last week.
just had a big cry, but I was premenstrual and tired, what can I say really?

Bill says overall my depression has been a lot better the last few weeks- and I feel better in myself, a combination of a few things.
Im getting closer to going casual, which Im loving the idea of.  Im currently full time and will love the choice of when I want to work.

Im involved in a thread on a website that is beautifully positive, and I really feel it with me in so much as it encourages me to think of things in a positive light.

i guess its true you need to seek these things out.

I also joined a beauty thread, and started reading some beauty/fashion blogs.

between the last three things, I realised something I missed desperately was being girly in my appearance.
it was something I was quite into as a kid, and over time let it go.

partly having a tomboy bestie as a teen, partly self consciousness- Im actually not bad looking and get a bit of attention when I take care of myself.

Partly I couldnt justify the cost when I had to take care of other things, partly that I wear a uniform to work.
so with all these things Id let it all go and I actually missed it.

SO, Ive dropped a bundle on cheaper than new/shop new pretty clothes on ebay, and shoes- OMG have I bought some shoes.
and cosmetics.

Ive probably spent too much too quick, but I will refine my personal style a bit more with time, and collect more clothes etc at a much slower rate, and look at ebaying what doesnt work for me.
or maybe donating.

and, I have to admit it leaves me with a spring in my step.

I had same bestie over for a few days this week, and it was really good.

I also finally had time alone with my goddaughter for the first time in my life!
shes grown up a bit in the last year and I find her much more adult (at 17) and I really enjoyed her company.

we bonded over general chit chat and girl things... as her mother isnt girly at all its amazing she is.

but we cursed my friend when she was pregnant. she wanted a son just like mine, and was always going on about it

we said we hoped she had the girliest girl ever- and she did.

and she wouldnt have it any other way!

we had plans for bike riding, surfing and a trip to a water theme park, all of which became not possible as it was cold and wet. so much for summer.

another big thing over here has been the massive flash and regular flooding.

flash flooding is scary- its a lot of water and quick. have it in a regional city and you have loss of life, which happened.
regular flooding usually only kills if you get caught short and cant get out, or if you do something silly.

at the moment the worst is interstate from me, but its also been very wet here and looking like we will get our own floods, so Ill be keeping an eye on that, you better beleive it!

my town isnt in danger at the moment, but ill be watching.

what else can I tell you? Im on night duty tonight and the next three nights after that, hence the lack of time.
I will have to go and get ready for work soon.
Ill be in an ED or ER to some, so theres no down time overnight either! im hoping they keep all the regular staff unlike the wards who go to half staff.
Im sure they will.

and with all that, I really hope everyone stays safe, whether its snow, rain or floods youre battling.